22 November 2007

Anatomy of a Jaiswal Divorce

Alok Says:
May 1, 2007 at 5:40 am

Dear Sir / Fellow victims of 498a

Can you please advice me on this…

My Wife has asked for a divorce and with all kinds of false allegations on me, but with Gods grace and elders blessings she failed to prove all the allegations and has accepted that there was foul play in it.

The court has advised that its advisable to close this issue as if we prolong it and have counter allegations our life’s will be wasted. They have advised that both the parties have to withdraw their cases and have a settlement. The judge has ordered that I have to pay Rs. 5 Lakhs and towards permanent alimony and Rs. 1 Lakh toward the wedding expenses incurred by my wife’s side

I WANTED YOUR ADVICE ON – AS FAR AS MY UNDERSTANDING GOES, IF THE WIFE MAKES AN ATTEMPT OR INITIATES THE DECISION TO PART WAYS THE HUSBAND IS NOT LIABLE TO PAY ANY MONEY AS ALIMONY OR PERMANENT SETTLEMENT. CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS.

BELOW A BRIEF DETAILS OF MY UGLIEST SPOT IF MY LIFE

Name: K. ALOK JAISWAL
Email: alokjaiswalk@yahoo.com
Location:HYDERABAD / ANDHRA PRADESH
Hear about us: GoogleSearch
498A Registered: YES
498A Place: WOMENS PROTECTION CELL
498A Date: 23 MARCH 2007
Any Other IPCs:
Relatives Accused: MOTHER & FATHER
Jailed Days: YES
Stage of Case: caseCourt
Spent Money on 498A: 15000
Lived in joint Family: NO
Marriage Date: 23 NOV 2005
Wife Age: 26
Wife’s Education Level: other
Wife works (earns)?: works
Filed for Divorce: YES
Have children: NO
Living With Wife: NO
Negotiating with Wife: YES
Took her Stridhan Back: YES
She had Any Medical Problems: NO
Willing to Help other Victims: NO
Contact No: 09963455545

Comments: WIFE FILED CASE STATING THAT WE HAVE HARASSED HER FOR MORE DOWRY, CAR & TO BUY MODERN ELECTRONIC ITEMS. SHE ALSO STATED THAT WE HAVE PHYSICALLY ABUSED HER.

SHE IS DEMANDING 25 LAKHS AS COMPENSATION, SHE ALLEGES THAT I AM IMPOTENT AND MENTALLY NOT SOUND.

A BRIEF OF MY WIFE'S FAMILY BACKGROUND:

SHE IS THE SECOND SIBLING IN THEIR FAMILY WITH SISTER THE ELDER ONE AND A YOUNGER BROTHER. FATHER DOESN'T EARN AND HAD BEEN DECLARED INSOLVENT IN THE YEAR 2001 / 2002 AFTER SUFFERING FROM HUGE LOSSES. THEIR HOUSE RUNS ON THE RENT THEY GET FROM ONE OF THEIR ANCESTRAL PROPERTY. AS A CHILD I DON'T THINK SHE HAD A HEALTHY ATMOSPHERE TO GROW. SHE USE TO TELL ME THAT HER FATHER HAD AN AFFAIR WITH SOME OTHER WOMEN AND HE USE TO DRINK AND ABUSE PHYSICALLY HER MOTHER IF SHE INTERVENED. YOUNGER BROTHER ALSO TRIED TO MOLEST HER WHEN SHE WAS 18 OR 19 YEARS. MOTHER IS A MENTAL PATIENT FROM PAST 15 YEARS. SISTER HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR FIRST COUSIN AND COULD NOT MARRY HIM BECAUSE MARRIAGES WITH FIRST COUSINS IS NOT PERMITTED IN OUR SOCIETY. SHE HAD TO MARRY SOMEONE ELSE AND AFTER 2YEARS OF HER MARRIAGE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE AS SHE WAS UNABLE TO BEAR HER IN-LAWS TORTURE.

SHE WANTS 25 LAKHS A COMPENSATION STATING THAT I AM IMPOTENT, I HAVE NO PROPERTY ON MY NAME AND I ALSO DON’T HAVE ANY BANK BALANCES. I WORK FOR A FREIGHT FORWARDING COMPANY AS AN ASST. MANAGER WITH A TAKE HOME SALARY OF RS.14, 350 PM.

PLEASE ADVICE WITH MY EARNINGS HOW MUCH CAN I SHELL OUT AS ONE TIME COMPENSATION. & IS IMPOTENCY IS JUST LEVELED AGAINST ME AND THERE WAS NO PROFESSIONAL CONFIRMATION GIVEN AS WHEN WE APPROACHED A SEXOLOGIST HE SAID THAT A PERSON NEEDS TO BE PHYSIOLOGICAL NORMAL TO KNOW IF HE IS SUFFERING FROM IMPOTENCE. CAN I COUNTER A CASE ON HER THAT SHE HAS DEFAMED ME AND MY FAMILY WITH FALSE ALLEGATIONS?

AWAIT YOUR PRECIOUS ADVICE SOON.

THANKS!

ALOK

- - - - - - - -

Alok's case is unfortunate. More unfortunately, the parameters of this divorce case form a template for divorces now occurring among Jaiswals of Hyderabad and I assume elsewhere. Both the sides wash away the dirty laundry in public and later come to their senses and go their separate way.

As a bigger issue, the disadvantages of the practice of arranged marriages is definitely worth a closer look. What doesn't kill, makes one stronger and lessons are learned and presumably are not repeated by Alok and his partner and others who have now become familiar with this case.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

-----FURTHER TO THE PREVIOUS ABOVE POST---


NOTE: The views expressed below are based only on certain sect of women & her families & not the entire womanhood. My inculcated principles see woman with immense respect and high regard. It is dedicated to the victimised Indian families, who are falsely threatened & blackmailed by the Indian daughters-in-law & her family members, and those victimised families who are already falsely charged under the section 498a.THIS ARTICLE IS MY PERSONAL COPYRIGHT!


Dear Fellow Jasiwals,

Down the line nearly after a year, my ordeal came to an end & today when I sum up the entire episode I feel that I am one among the very few lucky people who came out unscratched from this messy trap. God protected us, in every move and the incredible efforts put in by my uncle and grand parents who also advocated my case to get us victoriously out of this dirty mess. More over it was a fight for justice & to prove that truth always wins.

This Dowry Prohibition Act, was enacted with the intention of protecting wives from marital violence, abuse and extortionist dowry demands, however, the actual implementation of these laws has left a bitter trail of disappointment, anger and resentment in its wake, among the affected families. Few immoral women and their familes, for whom everything starts with money and ends with money, use this code for enhancing their bargaining position vis a vis her husband and in-laws and fulfill their greedy desires.

So I advice all fellow Jaiswal’s & others to be extra cautious while selecting your partner. Please do check their family background, life style, their conduct in society etc.. It’s a old saying that “ Nanihal Aur Dadihaal Dekh Kar Shaadi Karo” it may sound as the same old boring saying … trust me this is very vital in shaping your matrimonial life.


All these events have left me wiser & stronger to face the world and also strengthen my believe in God that he favour’s the truth and whatever he does, it’s for good.


I can be of help if anyone needs any information in relation to this. They can contact me on alokjaiswalk@yahoo.com

Wish you all Good Luck


Alok Jaiswal


P.S: Recommend to visit this link to know the common allegations women use to frame cases

http://india.indymedia.org/en/2006/07/211853.shtml

Anonymous said...

Thank you Alok jaiswal for the comments.

Jaiswal said...

"Nanihal Aur Dadihaal Dekh Kar Shaadi Karo"

Anonymous said...

U R LUCKY ALOK CAME OUT OF THE CHAKRAVEIW OF UR EX-WIFE & HER GREEDY FATHER

Anonymous said...

Don't know if Alok or anyone else who goes through this kind of ordeal is can consider himself/herself lucky. It has an impact on the whole extended family, for months and years. Other relatives that have information or opinion choose to keep mum, why?

Jaiswal said...

Hyderabad, Oct. 8: Dowry laws meant to protect women from harassment are being widely misused these days. Section 498A of the India Penal Code was meant as a shield for women. However, several misguided women are using it as a weapon, out of rancour or ill-will. Those who suffer from the misuse of this section are mostly husbands, their mothers and sisters.

Initially, it was male victims who protested against the misuse. Some of them even joined together to form the Harassed Husbands’ Association’. Now, women who unwittingly became victims of the law are also raising complaints. In Andhra Pradesh both women and men joined hands against this harassment by forming a Save Indian Family Foundation. The Supreme Court also observed that by the misuse of the section a new legal terrorism can be unleashed. "The provision is intended to be used a shield and not an assassin's weapon," it said.

Around 60,000 allegations are made under Section 498A every year and even if a small percentage of these allegations are false, it means thousands of people are affected by it. The number of cases under the section has increased by about 100 per cent in the last 10 years and by more than 15 per cent in just the last two years.

Those who are falsely accused of harassment undergo much stigmatisation and hardship even before a trial in the court of law. This leads to immense emotional, physical and financial trauma. In 2006, 63,128 cases of dowry harassment (under Section 498A) were filed in India of which 9,164 cases were from Andhra Pradesh. On an average, the Hyderabad police registers more than 1,200 such cases every year. Vizag and Vijayawada are also witnessing more than 500 cases on average.

"In last four years, more than 1,15,000 women were arbitrarily arrested all over India without trial or evidence under Section 498A," said Ms Uma Challa, spokesperson of the Save Indian Family Foundation. Section 498A is non-bailable and cognizable. That means that those arrested are jailed first and they can only get bail after argument in court. "This law considers the accused to be guilty till proven innocent," said Ms Challa. Some of the falsely accused husbands and their elderly parents have committed suicide. Others have slipped into depression.

According to National Bureau of Crime Records, every year 55,452 married men commit suicide compared to 28,869 married women. Further, the allegations of harassment and attendant arrests are also taking a toll on the children in these families. "I have been struggling to end the police case against me after my wife lodged a complaint under 498A," said Mr Karunakar, who terms himself a victim. "Police took my parents, sister, her husband and even their children to police station. My family lost it face." Ms Uma, another victim of Section 498A, joined hands with other such women to launch the Society for Forgotten Women.

"The misuse of the law by some ill-intentioned women has proved to be devastating," she said. "If one woman files a case there is a chance that the husband’s mother, sisters, other women members in the family may land in jail." Mr K. Durga Prasad, president of Sahana, an NGO working for the harassed husbands, said such cases also destroyed all chances of reconciliation between the woman and her husband. These organisations are now working in major cities such as Bangalore, Delhi and Mumbai to extend legal help and counselling to those who are victims of the law. "We are only fighting against the faulty law," said Mr Prasad. "Let the government make it bailable and allow natural justice.

Source: http://www.deccan.com

Anonymous said...

Medical reports proved that you are IMPOTENT. You has spoiled the career of a innocent girl. Dont try to fool public every one knows about your medical history.

Anonymous said...

It is a common habit for people to fabricate impotence as an excuse.